My Son is such a teenager

The Ogre is 16- he is spending the first half of Thanksgiving break with Grandma. I called over there to talk to my Mom - check in on the Moose and talk about Christmas. Ogre answers the phone- we talk- and then I ask to talk to Grandma. He says "Oh- she is not here- she is at the hospital with Great Grandma- her hips are broken. I called my Mom on her cell phone- and -NO- Great Grandma's hips are not broken(she fell about 1.5 months ago) but she is still having pain from her fall - and they were going to take her to the doctor. So the pure dread and heart break that rushed through me when my darling thoughtful son told me that my Grandmother broke her hips. Now to be completely honest-my son was only doing what he thought was right. I asked a question- and he answered it. He didn't think about breaking it gently- or how freaked I might be.

Gotta love him!

Getting back to Normal

The Zoo- Moose, Goose and Ogre

Practicing the Power Ranger moves

Hugs

Sisters

More Pictures

I'm a little Teapot- short and ...

In Case of Noise- cover ears

Beautiful Goose

Moose is all Smiles

Introducing the Purple Power Rangers

Posing with the Pink Power Ranger

Learning the pose

Ogre "getting down" with MS&S

there was Elvis, Madonna, and now there is Ogre

Dancing to the beat

Ogre is a great brother- putting the Moose's shoe on- so the dancing can continue

Say Cheese

I am terrible at blogging daily. I just don't know how my friend Lori does it. (http://www.stressisthenewblack.blogspot.com/) she has blogged daily the month of November. I however have not.

We had our fall garage sale at my Mom's house- and have enough stuff left over that we are planning on doing one at my house soon. We have done some deep cleaning- and throwing away of stuff. Still planning on getting rid of more.

Moose was not able to go to school last week- so she spent the week with Grandma. They went to the mall a couple times and the girl does like to shop. She was greatly upset on Tuesday when I called- she told me "Mommy, the peoples made me so sad" I asked her why and she told me - "they told me I was cute!".

My Mom told me that she got tired- asked to be picked up and put her head down on my Mom's shoulder and told her- "I'm tired of being cute- can we go home now"

Daddy went to visit a couple of times- and Mommy, Goose, and Ogre went up to visit one night. She was very happy to come home on Friday- and on Saturday the Moose and Goose had to rediscover the joy of sharing.

Saturday- we did some major cleaning and tossing and donating. We have a lot of stuff to go to goodwill and we threw out much more. Time to get it out before the holidays- My Mom and I took the girls and went shopping for curtains- but did not find any that I just had to have. I will keep looking.

We had a "potty shirt" scare. Potty shirt is the one of my Dad's flannel shirts. When Moose was about 2 years old she called my Dad -Potty (just could not say Poppy)and she acquired one of his shirts- she would not give it back to him. Last weekend we packed up her things for the week- and the bag with Potty's shirt got misplaced. We could not find it anywhere. She has asked for it- and she did fine without it- but it was wonderful joy today when we found it. Happy days.

Today we went to Hollywood Studios to see the Christmas lights ( I know it's not Thanksgiving yet) Today is the one day they are not having Christmas lights. It was still a great afternoon. The girls and Ogre got to "rock out" to Mulch, Sweat, and Shears"- and then we able to see the Power Rangers. The last time we saw them- they missed Pink Power Ranger and Moose told me today - Pink Power Ranger is my favorite. (Funny- because she has no idea who the Power Rangers are)

We ended the evening with Fantasmic. - If you have never watched this show- it's great. Fireworks (not many) but the characters and movie clips are great. Goose would cover her ears with my hands- pull them away when she wanted to hear something- then cover them back when she was done listening. Ogre asked her if she liked it and she said yes- then he asked her if she wanted to watch it again and she said "NO!"

Dropped Moose and Ogre off with Grandma- no school for Ogre this week. I told him I was surprised that he had the entire week off for Thanksgiving and I thought he would get out Wednesday. He scoffed at the idea of only having 2 days of for Thanksgiving. I laughed and told him that's how it was in the "old days". Moose will be out of school this week as well. Her follow up in on Tuesday with Dr. Bean and there is no VPK this week. I know she will be happy to go back.

It is going to be a quiet week with only one child in the house.

Racism - You Can't Fix Stupid

One of the things that need to be addressed when you adopt trans-racially is racism. I want to raise my daughters to stand up for themselves- but I don't want them looking for racism or to think that everytime someone says something it is racially motivated.
I am blessed- my family has been overwhelmingly supportive of our adoption- and like us- adore the Moose and the Goose. Like all families- there are one or two that are not - but they don't dare say anything. Most of my friends are the same way- I know that one friend is not anymore- and it is her loss. I have no problems cutting people out of my life that are not healthy for my children to be around- it could be racial, it could be their morals or the company they keep- If it is not healthy- then they are not around my kids.
The question is how to handle it- so that the your children learn to handle these situations themselves, so that they learn that it is the other persons problem-not theirs. At 3 and 4 years old they don't get it- they are adored by everyone they know- so it doesn't occur to them that someone may not like them.
When a friend's husband called my daughter a racially derogatory term- we left. It was not my home, my daugther was sleeping. I know who he had to explain it to when we left- and I feel confident that it would not happen again. Not a problem for me- he won't see my girls- and I think he is an ass.
When we got the dirty looks and pointed stares -a stare back and "do you have a problem?" worked. I try to be direct- but you have to weigh direct with safe.

The most recent- at a fall festival this year- I was walking ahead of my Mom and the girls and a young black man said "oh look- ching chong chong ping". My Mom asked him if he thought he was being funny- and he said "yeah". She told me and I felt the blood boil. I thought about it for a full minute- and I verified who said it and I walked back. I asked him if he thought he was being funny- and he got defensive. I told him" saying that to my daughters is just as offensive as if I called you a (insert racially derogatory term here) and it would serve you well to remember that the next time you want to be funny" He apologized- and I walked away shaking- angrier than I have ever been.

I thought about this tonight - because a dear friend was at McDonald's with her daughter and husband today- and some kids (19/20 years old she said) were looking at them and she heard them say
"found in a basket with a note that said bring me back when you are tired of me"

she said she was speechless- almost in shock at someone saying that. I would have been to. I was speechless when the idiot at the fall festival said what he said- it took me a full minute or two to decide how to respond and really to respond.

The point of the rambling is how to respond or how to act. I don't know if facing it directly is the best option or not. It works for me, but my daughters are young- and they are not always present (or aware) of what is going on, but what about when they are older.

How do I teach them to respond- to empower them to handle these situations when I am not there.

We talk about adoption openly- the girls know that they were adopted - and that adoption is how some children join their families. We have brought up birth mothers, being found, and orphanages.

How do you talk to them about rasism- about how people are stupid. We talk about being Chinese- and both Moose and Goose will say "I'm Chinese" - they will tell you they are from China- and Florida. At 3 and 4 - they are proud to be American and Chinese- and I want them to be proud. (Moose recently told me she was from China, Florida- and we were going to go there)

I want to teach them that "you can't fix stupid"- and I want to keep them from ever being hurt by stupid.

Not exactly

No pictures today-

After Moose's surgery- we headed back to Grandma's house- where the doctor assured me-she would nap for the better part of the afternoon, rest quietly the rest of the time, go to bed early and sleep all night. -Grandma and I were going to get ready for the garage sale, go to be early, get up early, make lots of money- and have clean houses.
It all went according to plan- except for the napping, resting quietly, going to bed early- sleeping all night, ready for garage sale, clean house thing- we did make some money.

Moose napped briefly in the car- and then was up. Putting her eye drops in- takes 2-3 people. She is 28 pounds of squirm- she will take the chewable Tylenol.
We got 80% of the garage sale stuff out- priced and ready to go. The sale was slow starting- but we got rid of a lot of stuff. Baby clothing did not sell as well as I thought it would- but so much is gone. We are going to do it one more time- at my house. So last chance for me to get more stuff out. At least I can start with a clean house for the holiday season.

Moose was up at 3:30 am- yes- that's right- 3:30 am. She woke me up- "Mommy- Mommy"
Yes Moosey- "Mommy- I love you so much" It's so sweet- you can't even be upset that she woke you from a dead sleep. She then wanted potty time- so we went. She told me- " I love you two Mommies" and " I have 4"- I asked her 4 what????- " 4 feet- and then counted them all.

Double vision- no flames please- is hysterical. I feel bad for her- because she does get a little frustrated with trying to pick up stuff that is not there. It is funny when she asks the Mommy sitting next to me- "How are you today?" or tells us " I love you two Mommies" This is a common side effect- and I was assured that it will go away in a few days- (not by the same doctor who assured me she would nap and sleep all night)

My very modest Moose- has asked to look in the mirror several times- and when asked today what color her eyes where- she told me chocolate and red. She is a little concerned that the red will not go away. We talked to her about the red- and how Dr. Bean said that it will go away- and she needs to use her eye drops to help it go away- she told me "No Thank you- I already did the eye drops"- This evening it was a little better- and I hope that it becomes easier.

Moose is going to be out of school for at least 1 week- and maybe two. They explained if the stitches come loose- and the muscle is not attached- then they have to go in- look for the muscle and attach it again. I am opting to keep her under close(closer than school) supervision- and far away from playgrounds. We are even skipping the FCC picnic tomorrow- (we will miss you all)

Moose has come out of this with flying colors. She is a very confident little girl- she feels safe and loved- and faces every situation head on (except for food)-she had questions- processed the answers- and went in with a smile.

The Eyes Have it

Moose had her surgery this morning. She is such a trooper. She asked a few questions on the way to pick up Grandma- and then a few more on the way to POPS (Pediatric Out Patient Surgery). Her main concern was if it was going to hurt or not. You hate to tell them No- because if it does- then they think your nuts, and you hate to tell them Yes- because you are not going to be able to get them to walk in the building. I told her that Dr. Bean would give her medication so that he could fix her eyes without it hurting.

The nurses were great! They came it an did her vitals- and the Goose's vitals. They talked to her and explained everything they were doing. We changed her into her lovely little hospital gown - and we talked to Dr. Gina (anesthesiologist) and then to Dr. Bean.

Amy (nurse) came in with some Versed and Tylenol for the Moose- she got real loopy- and started talking to them- she asked them where "Dr. Bean" was- and we had to explain to who Dr. Bean was- When they left to take the Moose down to the OR- they said- lets go get Dr. Bean's patient to him.

Since Moose could not eat or drink after midnight- we did not feed the Goose (or ourselves) until after they took Moose back. Moose was not out of the room 2 minutes- and Goose was into her apple slices, banana, and apple juice.
Goose was very good- asked "where's my Moose" about every 10 minutes- but she played with her coloring book and crayons, played with poster and markers, and did her puzzle as well.
We had just started to figure out how long she had been gone- when in walked Dr. Bean to tell us that it went well- they realigned her eye muscles and she should be back in about 30 minutes.
One hour later- they wheeled her back in- she opened her eyes just a bit- but went right back to sleep. We woke her up- and gave her a red Popsicle- then got her ready to leave.
That is when she asked " why are there two Daddies and two Grandma's)We expected some double vision- and it was funny to see her. She would try to talk to the "other Daddy or other Grandma" I was putting her in her car seat and she asked "how are you?"- I told her I was fine and she said- "Not you Mommy- the other Mommy"

The nice Dr. Gina told us that she would be quite sleepy today- and would not be active or want to do anything but sleep. She was wrong! The Moose came home- and was ready to go. She asked to go to Disney. She played- she could not take a nap. She had some juice- and then was ready to eat real food. It is after 8pm now- and she slept for all of 10 minutes since she has been home.
My Mom calls Goose the "spicy one" - but Moose is as bull headed as they come. She will take the chewable Tylenol- but when it comes time for the eye drops- it has taken 3 of us to do it.
She is so polite- "No Thank you- I am not doing that" but she means it and we have to bribe, cajole, and force the her to let us do the drops.
Prayers have been answered-

She is good now- and getting ready to go to bed- we will see what tomorrow brings.

No Thank you- I don't want to do that

Moose is going in for surgery on her eyes today. She has Amblyopia, or "lazy eye" - We noticed this back in the spring- in pictures. We took her to Dr. Ray for her eye exam- and her vision was good- so he suggested we go see "Dr. Bean" and told us what the treatment would be- but that ultimately it would be surgery. Dr. Bean (so named by Moose) told us the same thing.

We started patching and the Moose was great- she was a pirate princess- she had a patch and tiara. (even took the tiaras into school at first) She was happy to have the starring role as pirate princess- and never complained about wearing it. We did this 5-6 days a week. Her vision improved to perfect- but the eyes still deviated- so we scheduled the surgery.

We have been talking to Moose about her upcoming appointment with Dr. Bean and her only response has been "No Thank you- I don't want to do that" - she used her good manners- wish it were that easy.

Keep us in your prayers today- her surgery is schedule this morning at 7:45.

Today in Veteran's Day. A day to remember and honor those who have served- and those who continue to serve in the Armed Forces. It is due to their service and sacrifice that America continues to be free.

Only 2% know the Joy of Adoption

Today is National Orphan Sunday. Please pray for the 147 million orphans in the world who are waiting for their forever families. Also pray for the families considering adoption. Over one third of Americans seriously consider adoption, but only 2% actually adopt. Every orphan needs a forever family. We are thankful for two little girls from China- who stole are hearts and completed our family!

That was my status on Facebook yesterday. It is such a basic statement and so sad - that there are 147 million orphans in the world. That is 147 million children that don't have a Mommy and Daddy, 147 million children that don't have someone to hug them when they are sad, rejoice when they do it right, and teach them. That is 147 million kids with no one to love them or to tuck them in at night.

It is sad that countries close down their programs, slow their programs down to a crawl, or have programs that are riddled with corruption.

The saddest part to me is that over 1/3 of Americans consider adoption and only 2% actually adopt. I wonder why the others don't adopt. Do they have questions that no one answered? Do they have have concerns that no one addressed. Where they given false information or talked out of it by "well meaning" friends or relatives.

Someone commented on my FB page- that they considered it- but thought it was "to complicated". I totally get the feeling. When you look at what you have to do- it does seem complicated.

Someone else told me they were going to wait until things looked more stable. I get that as well- but when we adopted Goose- I had just been laid off- and there was no job in sight. We went on blind faith that God would provide us with the money we needed to survive until a job came through.

One person told me- "you just don't know what your going to get"- true- you don't know. You have no idea how much joy and happiness you are going to get. You have no idea how much your heart is going to fill with love for a child.

I know someone who dropped out of their China adoption- "there was no end to the wait". There was never a time that I could back out- our wait was not as long- and I can't imagine how hard it is.

A former friend told me that she did not understand why I would adopt from China - when there are so many children here that need a home. I think all children deserve a home- and I don't care where they are from. My daughters just happen to be Chinese. I say former friend because since we made the decision to adopt from China- she does not talk to me. Her loss- I have the Moose and the Goose- and I have better friends.

Someone else said to my Mom- "you mean their going back for another one- doesn't she have enough"- Don't know what she was thinking-

I wonder if there is more that I could be doing to promote adoption- if there is more that I could do to support the families considering adoption. I would like to be available to answer questions, de-bunk the myths, and support families during the wait.

There should be an adoption hot line - a 1-800 number that families considering adoption could call to get the right answers to their questions.

There are 147 million orphans in the world. I know two- that are home with their Mommy and Daddy- two little Chinese girls who stole our hearts and completed our family.